So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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