Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
