Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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