Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
