I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
