question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
