I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
