I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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