real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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