another moral hangover. fuck.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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