Whod you bang
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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