idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
