at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
