Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
