here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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