Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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