too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
