Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
