I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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