Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i think i have herpe
just one?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
and you fell through a lawn chair
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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