Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
