She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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