Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
