Porn is love you can see.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
