Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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