dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
