4 words: hood of his car
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I made him laugh his dick is mine
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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