She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
