so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
