so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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