you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
