There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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