I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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