the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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