Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
