just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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