Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
