Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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