no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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