Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
