It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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