She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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