Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize