We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
