I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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