Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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