no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Randomize
