so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize
