i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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