I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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