apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I supernannyed him into submission
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
