I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
