dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
