why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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