69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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