I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
