i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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