i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
