the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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