Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
