I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
