I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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