shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Are we still banned from the library?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
