I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
